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Re: I'll Be
Scene One: In the beginning, everything was good. Ripples of laughter filled the warm air as the boat went faster, mixing the comfort of the sunshine with shocking sprays of ...
Oct 4, 2011 -
Re: Watch Me....
Wow. Publish it. Really. After: Change "2 ton" to two ton. It's distracting. And "little Timmy"? You can do better. There are other ways to let us know that it's ...
Sep 26, 2011 -
Re: Folded Up
Hi! Brave work! My first impression was that it started off like many other things I've read. Such as, I feel like I've seen the section around "For the most ...
Sep 26, 2011 -
Re: You're Not perfect.
This has a very "Model Behavior" and "Gossip Girl" feel to it. I like it. And don't get me wrong, it's very unique as well. It seems like you were ...
Aug 10, 2009 -
Re: Hope - A mother's tale
Is this non-fiction? I like this story a lot. It's very eerie, like one of those open-ended Misty of Chincoteague books. Maybe I'm stating the obvious, but you start the ...
Aug 10, 2009 -
Re: Music; In General
This is very nice and simple. What you have to aim for with a simple piece is to keep it simple. Sometimes the intrigue in simple writing is that it's ...
Aug 10, 2009 -
Re: A kiss in black ink
I'm a big fan of this genre. And kind of hard to please. This prologue makes me want to read some more. That's nice. You use a lot of good ...
Aug 10, 2009 -
Re: Hail Mary
Guess who's on the Wonderful World of YWS. That's right. Your sister. The comrade. The only one that would name herself after a famous Texas outlawess. Btw, I still like ...
Aug 7, 2009 -
Re: Mary the Slave girl
Hi, honey. Your ideas for this story have potential, but, of course, I have a few suggestions. 1. She either has an accent or doesn't. (You'll have to excuse me ...
Aug 7, 2009 -
Re: Who Are We Really?
Please note...it's unfinished.
Aug 7, 2009 -
Re: Anorexic Letters
Hi. It's so nice to be able to convey emotions through words on a page, but it can be so difficult to do. You have succeeded. At 13. Be proud. ...
Aug 7, 2009 -
Re: Who Are We Really?
Who Are We Really? Who are we really? People? Yes. But that’s so broad. Americans. Yes. But America is a melting pot of all nationalities, so that doesn’t help. Girl. ...
Aug 7, 2009
